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Heavy Dancing

by Swain

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Sharpen your teeth and bare your knuckles. We’ve got nothing to lose. Among our fears, a growing intent: to rid ourselves of our contempt. We’ve been sleeping all these years. Let this be a call to hone our spears. And to all of those who are left behind: remember that I’ll always weep for mankind.
What if my friends weren’t really friends? What if a smile was a charade? What if I saw just an other face? What if a look was just a gaze? Save me. I couldn’t keep it at bay. Soothe me. I went and threw my hopes away. No purpose, no meaning. No love, but still a heart left beating. Young beauty, swallow me whole. ‘Cause I know you’ve got soul. Sorrow comes, when sorrow calls. And when she does, my whole world falls. Misery, madness... I’m starting to fight it. But what if our hopes were just really misguided? When I’m not so sure I can untie this knot, this heavy dancing is all I’ve got.
Holy! Holy! All the days. Hunting to preserve our youthful haze. We need a fix, but we can’t be fixed. Our medicine does not exist. I can see it, in your eyes, on your skin, in how you dance. I can see it, you don’t look, we never touch. Stranger! Stranger! To this life. Whatever left me has turned off the lights. Half-witted for trying to fight? We’re not alright. And your still too fucking polite. I’m feeling sick to my stomach, I’m feeling sick in my bones. You don’t like the sound of that tone? Have we not screamed enough to catch your eyes? We’re not alone. When I hate myself for the burden that I’ll always be. Second best by your definitions. Well... I won’t rest under those conditions. “It’s gonna be okay”, they said with belittling grace. But I need some space. “It’s gonna be okay”, I wish I could trust your straight face. But I need some space.
Vaarwel 01:44
I’m at a loss to understand why I’m holding on to the comfort of a home, and the humdrum of this town. Don’t wanna think that I’m stuck here. Don’t wanna stick to my creed. Because first comes love, then comes marriage and then comes wishing you had been miscarried. So goodbye, sayanora, I’m sharing blood with the diaspora. I got too cozy and it’s starting to itch. So here’s to waking up and calling it quits. Don’t grow roots, I’m heading out. I too got born under red, white and blue, but the stripes are all fucking skewed. Fuck Golden Earring, I’m not amused. Baby, I’ve got the blues.


released March 5, 2015

Recorded by Pieter Vonk at Barn in the Meadow Studio and mixed and mastered by Jack Shirley.





Grow your hair out.

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